My Foundation Experience | Personal Story

“Did you just join a cult?” my husband asked.

I guess when I came home after being away for five days raving about my experience at a workshop where I cried everyday, where I “saw the light”, where I fell in love with cows, became one with my team, and where I gained a new family called “The Foundation”, I couldn’t really blame by him for thinking that. In my sleep deprived state, I may have told him the whole story in one very long sentence with little to no pauses. Verbal storytelling wasn’t my forte to begin with anyway.

I had to reassure him. Of course I didn’t join a cult. Of course not.

Three weeks ago, I flew to Dallas to attend The Foundation Workshop 12 (FW12), a photojournalism workshop for wedding photographers now on its 12^th year. It’s run by the best wedding photographers in the industry and has the street cred of being the toughest of its kind. It’s recommended that you leave your ego behind before going through the workshop or watch it get crushed. It is not for everyone.

Sounds scary, eh? It took me four years to gather up the nerves to sign up. I felt I owe it to my clients to get the best education I can get to help me document their weddings. And FW was the best.

Twenty-eight photographers including myself signed for Session A of FW12. We were divided into five teams, each team consisting of three mentors and five students at the most. Each student got a photo assignment and was given two days to shoot with the goal of finding a story and documenting that story through images. The end product was a slideshow for everyone to watch at the end of the workshop. Our mentors’ job was to guide us through the process and open our eyes to new ways of seeing.

I ended up with the team lead by Huy Nguyen with Erwin Darmali of Apertura and Candice C. Cusic as our mentors. All amazing, AMAZING photographers in their own rights. Three other talented wedding photographers belonged in my team — Tracey Buyce, David Moss, and Jennie Sewell. Our first meeting together as a team was the night before our two days of shooting. We all made ourselves comfortable in Huy’s hotel room wearing our comfy PJs. Our mentors introduced themselves first and I was taken aback by how much they have revealed themselves to us through their personal stories. They created a safe environment that I felt I could trust them. Safe enough for me to lose it and start doing my ugly cry in front of these people I just met. I can only count in my hands the number of people who has seen my adult ugly cry. So when something as special as an ugly cry event happens, that pretty much seals the deal. My team will be as close as family.

The four of us were given, to our surprise, the same assignment — cover the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo. Our instruction, to “have fun”. Fort Worth was an hour and a half away from Glen Rose where FW12 was held. Since we were all headed the same way, Huy suggested we carpooled. Which ended up as a great idea. Because our first day of shooting sucked.

For myself, I was so focused on the idea of showing a story for the slideshow that I thought our instruction “have fun” was too vague.  I felt lost (well, I actually did get lost. All barn stalls and cows looked the same to me at first). I tried to find subjects who might be able to give me something. But I wasn’t feeling it. A stock show wasn’t necessarily a high emotion type event. I felt frustrated because I thought I wasn’t getting the guidance I came for. By 4:30 pm, I ran out of steam and gave up.

I thought I was the only one who felt that way until we all met up at the end of the day. The car ride back to our hotel became  a place for the four of us to vent and bond together. We were all mad and tired about our experiences that day.  It was almost like a therapy session where we got to know each other more and offered advice to any issues we had in our personal and business lives.

After getting something to eat and enjoying a little bit of break, we headed back to Huy’s room that night to have our mentors critique our images. All the images we shot that day. We were not allowed to delete any file.  The theory was that having our mentors see everything would give them an understanding of our thinking process while we shot and thus offer us advice on photography and photojournalism skills. Which was very helpful. What we later realized was that they were also able to decipher what was personally holding us back.

That first night of critiques, with all my images from the day projected on the screen, Huy bent down in front of the table across me , looked me in the eyes, and in his most sincerest way told me that although I took images that were compositionally good, my images felt cold.

Cold. My lips may have quivered a little bit upon hearing those words. I held my tears back lest the ugly cry returned. I personally believe that you see yourself through the images you create. So when I was told that the images from the first day were cold…it hurt.

I said to myself, I was here to get an honest assessment of my skills so better suck it up. And so I did.  And I was able to hear what my mentors wanted me to do. To get closer. Closer to the subjects, closer to the action. All the images I took on the first day were shot at a safe distance. By closing in, you’ll be able to capture more of what it felt like to be there at that particular moment. But to be close, I needed to be open. And that’s where the real challenge for me began.

I’m the type of person who keeps everything inside ever since I was a child. In my mind, everyone else have issues to deal with so why even bother them with mine. I would rather wallow on my own. Which was not the healthiest thing to do. Because after years of dealing with life this way, you learn to put up walls to hide wh­at was really going on. You end up feeling more alone.

So for my second day of shooting, my goal was to mage genuine connections  and get close.

My team mates and I met at the dining area the following morning for our ride back to Fort Worth. Everyone seemed excited. I was confused. I didn’t see how I could find the light, compose well, and capture a moment at its emotional peak while being really close at a Stock Show. My team may have picked up on that because each of them asked how I felt in one form or another. Which I truly appreciated. They have my back. I didn’t have to be alone this time.

The second day of shooting was where I learned the most in the field. Huy tracked me down and found me with a family getting their Red Angus cow ready for the show .I was pleasantly surprised by how friendly Texans were by the way. They sure made it easier for someone as introverted as me to approach complete strangers.

Having Huy right there watching me was very helpful as I was able to get an instant feedback on things that I was doing wrong. I thought previously that I should cover every angle. Huy taught me I didn’t have to cover all angles. Just find one composition and commit to it until the decisive moment occurs. He urged me to get out of my comfort zone. When I thought I was close, he pushed me to get even closer. Huy elevated me to higher levels. Literally. He got me up standing on thin iron fences, portable cabinets, folding chairs. I appreciated him holding on to my legs just to make sure I don’t topple over.

Learning more about photography and finding out about what was hindering me from reaching the next level were among the things I got from FW. But the most important thing I gained was a new family in the form everyone involved in FW12A, especially my team, Team Brahman. Brahman for the humped cows we all fell in love with at the show. I have never opened up as much as I did with them. And I haven’t received as much support from people outside my immediate family as they have given me before.  My mentors, Huy, Erwin, and Candice, were not only amazing at their craft but they are also beautiful, generous human beings. To my team — Tracey, Dave, and Jennie — I am very grateful to call them as my friends.  We bonded in those few days and in the end, it only made sense to show a group slideshow instead of individual ones.

We’re only allowed to show two of our own photos from the workshop. Here are my favourites!